i'm doing this for you :'(

assalamualaikum.....

hmm , i dont know , but right now , i'm totally in complete sad . i dont know how to express it to my friends , i just dont know how to make them understand . it's a complex feeling . totally :'(

recently , i started to like someone at asasi . i keep updating about him on twitter , facebook . he always like everything that i posted , shared , everything . and know what ? i've screen captured all of that and saved it in my phone , but it was missing n i lost all of them :( mayb , he did not even cared , but i felt happy , b'cos i'm feelin like he pay attention towards me , while actually , he might not .

i know he knows it . that i liked him . i keep on showing it . he gave positive feedback , and that make me even happier , maybe , he started to have the same feeling too , mayb ? :)

i am the one that always chat him first at FB . yah , mayb that seems pathetic , but seriously , i dont really care , i have no reason to hide this feeling . and , he just fine with it anyway . but something that make me a bit sad , he never try to tell me what exactly his feelings towards me , i dont hope for anything , i've never even think about it , but at least , if i know his feeling , i wont feel too much pain in the end :(

i dont know , but one of his friend started to win a place in my heart . we are friends though , and thats why i treat him like my other friends . but day by day , seems like this feeling had changed its direction , i don't know why :( b'cos he keep showing sweet characters , eventhouh he never say it , but seriously , i know it :(


if i think back , is it really the right thing about what i'm doing ? i am the one that always chat him first , show how much i cared , even in the real life , i am the one that start a conversation with him , and he just look at me , stuck , saying nothing . did he really like me too ? or i'm just playing with my own feeling ? while that friend of him , he's the one that always look for me , make me smile , laugh . is it true that he's the one that likes me ? :(

this morning , i've made a decision . i wont choose any of them . i'll stop chatting with him . i'll stop looking at him , i'll stop talking about him . you know what ? all of that affects my entire day . in the lecture this morning , suddenly i'm crying while drawing this....

expression of my feeling .

by this , u must have the frame on what actually i felt right ? well , it's even hurt than that :'( pipit realised it , she ask me what happens , she took this paper and write that in 'jawi' writting.... i love u pipit , i told her i'm okay , but i know she know it , that actually , I AM NOT :(

then , I updated my status on FB...

 

and this one...



 

 



Dear you , i'm sorry if i changed suddenly . never ask why , just one thing that u have to know , i'm doing this for you . thank you for that short memory , u used to make me smile , and that is just so sweet to be forgotten. 

  THANK YOU , CELLEDAK :')  

please don't HATE me :( i love you .